Ryker Alan Phillips

Ryker Alan Phillips was born August 10th, 2012 at 8:55AM. Weighing in at 6lbs 11oz and 18.5 inches tall. (Sorry if this post is all over the place.) Earlier that day.. I woke up at around 4:30AM(ish) to get ready to have a baby. Ray and I were due up at the hospital at 6:00AM to have our second born. We were so excited. I don't think I got more than 3 hours of sleep just from anxiousness and excitement! We got to the hospital at 6, ready to have this baby. The nurses got me all hooked up to the monitors.

Then we waited patiently to get ready to go back to the OR. They wheeled me back with Ray following at 8:00AM. First the started with my spinal. It took him a while to find in my back where to poke. But once he got it, he got it!! It was such a relief, to know that the Doctor was pinching and poking my tummy and I didn't feel it at all!(I had slight anxiety with it from Dax) But after a few times throwing up, and feeling like someone was sitting on my chest we welcomed a beautiful baby boy into the world at 8:55AM. He was grabbing OR instruments and screaming his head off when he came out. I thought everything was going to be perfect and wonderful. A few minutes after he was born he was handed to Ray and then brought over to me. He was so cute. He had hair! It is dark too. I love him so much! Once they got me all sewn back up, I got wheeled into the recovery room. Where I got to see Ryker again. I got to hold him and love on him. (At least as much as I could being numb from the ribs down.)He was so perfect. He also had this cute little grunt. Well, I thought it was cute, but I guess it was a sign of struggling to breathe. So after a few minutes of lovin' from Mama, the nurse came back and took him from me. To listen to him, and evaluate him a little more. Soon after, I was wheeled back into our hospital room. (The same exact room I had with Dax) & we waited for my Mom and Rob to bring Dax in so he could see Ryker and then so everyone else could see him. It took them a while to bring Ryker in to me. But at last we were reunited.

I took this picture right before they took him away again. He was still doing the grunting noise, and when I tried to nurse him he wasn't interested at all. When I unwrapped him to check out his cute little body the nurse noticed his little feet were turning blue. So again, he was taken away. I didn't know that that was going to be the last time I held him. We were waiting for him to come back, and he never did and never did. Finally the doctor came in to tell me that Ryker was having a hard time breathing, and they had called life-flight to take him to Primary Childrens Medical Center. They weren't sure what was wrong, but they took an X-RAY of his little lungs and one of his lungs was "blotted" out. They weren't sure what was causing it, if there was a mass pushing it up or what. I was told I could go in and see him, but was warned that there were a lot of people working on his little body, it may be overwhelming. I went and yes, it was. There were Doctors, and nurses, and EMT's, and CNA's, and my baby. My brand new, perfectly healthy baby. He was laying on a huge table surrounded by all sorts of people. They were trying to get IV's in him, trying to keep him breathing, trying to keep him alive. THIS WAS GOING TO BE THE LONGEST DAY OF MY LIFE! With another X-RAY we found out that his other lung had collapsed. Again, no known cause. How? How was this happening? Why was this happening? I honestly do NOT remember everything I was told. I had just had a c-section, I shouldn't even be out of bed yet. I remember crying.. A LOT. Everyone was crying A LOT. I remember hearing the helicopter land. I remember A LOT of waiting. The flight team were working on him, trying to get him stabilized. It took hours! Then finally they thought they were safe to go. I remember holding his little body in my hands, then I remember the flight nurse kneeling down to my level in the wheel chair. She said, "Paige, your baby is extremely sick. I am not sure what is wrong with him, I am not sure how things are going to go." My wonderful hubby, and his Dad, and Rob were able to give Ryker a healing blessing before he left. I also received one as did Ray. I was also told the word ECMO (not knowing what it was, or anything but I didn't care as long as it would save my baby's life.) There was no room on the helicopter for anyone to go with him. I honestly didn't know if I would get to hold my warm baby again. I didn't know what was going to happen. Thank goodness for the family that we have. My dad left work early after finding out that Ry was being life flighted and there wasn't room for anyone to ride with him. He was on his way to SLC before anybody else. Thank you Dad! Ray's Mom and Dad were able to drive Ray down while I had to stay in the hospital a little longer. We all watched the flight team take our sweet angel baby to the helicopter, and watched them lift off. I don't think I have bawled so hard in my entire life. Ray left soon after with his parents. Under strict orders NOT to beat the helicopter there. ;D They did arrive safely. Not quite sure how long after, followed by my Dad about 15 minutes later. All 4 of these wonderful people that followed Ryker to SLC stayed awake all night long. With my Dad and Ray checking in on him every hour. I am going to apologize on here for all of the missed call that day. I was in no way, shape, or form to talk to people on the phone. I was having break-downs about every 15 minutes. Remember how I was told the word ECMO? If you don't know what it is this is it: Extracorporeal Membrane Oxygenation. In intensive care medicine, extracorporeal membrane oxygenation (ECMO) is an extracorporeal technique of providing both cardiac and respiratory support oxygen to patients whose heart and lungs are so severely diseased or damaged that they can no longer serve their function. Initial cannulation of a patient receiving ECMO is performed by a surgeon and maintenance of the patient is the responsibility of the ECMO Specialist and gives 24/7 monitoring care for the duration of the ECMO treatment. We found out soon after he was there, he did NOT have to be on the ECMO machine. Total relief. I could breathe.. Kind of. Once he arrived they did decide to put him on "cool down" where they would lower his body temp to 90*F for 72 hours to preserve any organs so that the damage if any wouldn't worsen. He had never been "without" oxygen his little body was just really low. About 40% low. So besides the cool down, the also had him on BRAINZ to monitor if he was having seizures, and the oscillating ventilator. (Which he was put on before he even left Kemmerer.) & he was put on nitric because his X-RAY's showed pulmonary hypertension. He also had a pic-line and an art-line. He was hooked up to many MANY machines. He was put on about 12 or so different medications, each having their own machine.

This is the picture that I received from Ray the next morning. Luckily I was able to get discharged early from the hospital under strict guidance not to lift more than 5lbs. So around 2:00PM I was finally able to head down to SLC to see my baby.

The cool down phase seemed like it took forever! Mainly because we were anticipating his MRI to determine the amount of damage done to his little brain from the low amount of oxygen. Warming began Monday night 8/13/12 at about 10:00PM. So by morning came when we would come and see him he would be all warm. His little blood vessels went crazy after the warm up, and he looked like he had been in the sun for a little too long.

We didn't get much movement or really any activity for that matter for 24 hours. He was on morphine, and adavan. So slightly drugged. But I finally got a grip of a finger on Wednesday morning.

He also got his chest tube out that day as well!

Then the next day was the big day for his MRI. He wasn't on the schedule until 3:00 but we got a call saying he had been bumped up to 11:00. I started to get sick to my stomach. This day was going to show us to an extent what the future holds. The waiting game was the hardest. But then he finally was able to come back to his room, and we waited some more. Around 4:00 that evening Dr. Shrena Patel came in to discuss the MRI results. Lets just say a huge weight was lifted off of our shoulders! Our baby would live a normal life. Because babies brains are so amazing, they couldn't really tell us exactly what would happen down the road. But we were told nothing significant. He "may" have some learning disabilities, and developmental delays but only time will tell. But hey!! I am ok with that! We can totally deal with that! As long as he can live a full happy life, we will take what we can get. Thursday was also the first day that we got to see him with his eyes open!

I hadn't seen Ray smile for almost a week! It was such a relief! I was also able to hold him. For the first time since his day of birth!

It has been such a blessing in disguise. For every party involved. I have would have never thought that this was going to happen to me, especially because I had a normal healthy pregnancy. It is so crazy how your life can get turned upside down so quickly. I am so thankful for the gospel in my life. I am so thankful for Ryker and his courage to not give up. Because of him I have become a better person. A better Mother, sister, daughter, friend. I am so thankful for the tender mercies of our Father in Heaven. I am so thankful for all of the prayers and fasting that have been offered for my dear sweet Ryker. I am thankful that because of this experience my testimony of Jesus Christ and of the church has strengthened.